Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
