did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
