walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
