He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
