I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
