The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
