I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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