He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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