Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
