I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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