Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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