Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
