What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
