Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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