no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
