nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it wasn't lemon gatorade
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Randomize
