You work out of a Hotel?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
