TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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