fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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