i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
