did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
