8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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