she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
