Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
