I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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