You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
