I heard we made out
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
