Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
