i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
