do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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