I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize