he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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