Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize