Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
