oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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