Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
