Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
