how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
