so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
honey bunches of taint.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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