it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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