note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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