Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
