She's JV to your varsity
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm way too hungover for life right now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
