That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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