im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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