The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
