Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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