He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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