First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
