There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
