Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
