New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
