I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
