I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
