He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
