...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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