I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
