we have officially lost it.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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