She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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