this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
