Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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