u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
