Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
